


The Right to be Happy

by yotsubanoclover



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Birthday, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Memories, POV Saeran Choi, POV Second Person, POV Third Person, Ray route, Saeran Week, Saeyoung Choi - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-14 23:44:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15400227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yotsubanoclover/pseuds/yotsubanoclover
Summary: [Post-Ray Route] "Thank you for reminding me again and again, that I can allow myself to be happy."Birthdays never meant anything to Saeran, who believes he doesn't deserve to be happy. You were the first one to tell him that he's wrong.





	The Right to be Happy

**Author's Note:**

> Entry for Saeran Week day 7 - Birthdays

Saeran’s earliest memory of his birthday was Saeyoung giving him a small notebook.

“What is this?” He flipped through the pages, finding them empty.

“It’s a notebook,” Saeyoung told him with a smile. He was also holding another one, which looked exactly the same. “I got them from the church. Look, I have one, too!”

“What should I do with this?”

Saeyoung opened his to show Saeran, flipping through the pages; Saeran saw that at least half of Saeyoung’s books were full - though he didn’t understand what his brother’s written.  _Do I have to do it like he does? To write complicated codes?_

_“_ You can do anything you like! Like writing a diary.”

“A diary?”

“You write your feelings on that book - when you are happy, what makes you smile, even when you are sad.”

_Oh… but having just words inside these book seems lonely_. Saeran asked Saeyoung if he could also draw in the book.

“Of course! I’ll be looking forward to see your drawings, Saeran!”

With his new diary, Saeran decided to draw and write what happened today. First, he started off with the diary entry, writing it down with a small pencil he found in their shared room. His hand was stiff from not writing for too long, but Saeyoung said his writing was wonderful, so he smiled and kept going. After that, Saeran started drawing Saeyoung and himself. From that day forward, the diary became his most precious possession. He made sure to hide this diary well, so that their mom wouldn’t find it. After all, this was the first present he had ever gotten from Saeyoung - presents are something precious, something he doesn’t want to lose.

In return for Saeyoung’s gift to him, he gifted his brother a drawing of both of them, eating ice cream together. Seeing Saeyoung smile made him happy, too. 

Looking back, he’s not even sure if the day he received the diary from Saeyoung was their birthday. But he knew that birthdays are when he gets presents, so he remembered that day as such.

* * *

After Saeyoung left him, Saeran never even thought of celebrating his birthday. For him, it only served as a painful reminder that Saeyoung was not with him anymore. 

“Happy birthday, Saeran!” V said to him one day, Rika standing right behind him with a cake and candles.

Saeran shook his head. “I’m not supposed to celebrate.” His voice started to break. “I don’t even know if Saeyoung is doing fine - how can I be the only one celebrating when it’s our birthday?”

“Saeran, that’s not true,” V pat his head. “I promise you - Saeyoung is doing fine, and don’t you think he would want you to be happy?” Behind him, Rika smiled in agreement. “Or, you can make your wish for Saeyoung and blow the candles. Okay?”

Reluctantly, Saeran made his wish, praying for his brother’s safety and happiness, before blowing the candles. Clapping, both V and Rika handed him their presents.

“An encyclopedia on flowers!” Saeran squealed happily. Rika gave him some flower seeds. “Thank you, V, Rika!”

“You love flowers, don’t you, Saeran?” Rika hands him a plate with one slice of the cake.

The boy’s eyes were sparkling. “I do! I cannot wait to plant lots of flowers!”

* * *

His small happiness didn’t last long, though. After all, birthdays did not matter in Mint Eye - instead, the day someone got his cleansing ceremony was a one-time celebration; it was the closest anyone could get to birthdays.

Yet, Ray always made sure to keep up to the tradition. This year, he baked a small cake for himself, decorated it with candles, and bought some new flower seeds for the garden. He didn’t realize the Savior was watching until she called out to him. “Ray, what are you doing?”

“Savior. This… this… is not what it looks like! I…”

The Savior’s words were clear. “If you had any time to celebrate your birthday, you should have spent those hours to work harder.” She looked disappointed. “Besides, why would you celebrate the day you were born corrupted in this world, yet to be saved? We don’t do that here, Ray. You should’ve known better.”

_Ray, you disappointed her again._

He took the candles off. “I’m sorry, Savior.”

_The Savior is right, you are nothing but-_

He threw the whole cake into the waste bin. “I won’t do it again.”

_**An airhead**!_

* * *

When you come into your shared bedroom with a small cake and candles, singing  _Happy Birthday_ , Saeran, who has been spending hours in front of his computer screen, is dumbfounded.

“ _Happy birthday, Saeran_ …” you finish the song, stopping right in front of him. Chuckling, you bring the cake closer to him, gesturing for him to blow the candles. It’s embarrassing because you know Saeran could see how sloppy your work is in decorating the cake. But to your surprise, he lands a kiss on top of your head.

“Thank you, love.” He tries to sound happy.  _Of course_  he’s happy… you’re thinking about him this much. But, somehow… this doesn’t feel right. “I didn’t expect this.”

“Actually…” you hesitate, biting your lower lip. “Actually I wasn’t sure if I should do this, with Saeyoung still missing and all….

“But precisely because he’s someone very important to you, you should celebrate today for his sake, too. Precisely because we are in a hard time, we should celebrate the small moments, we should always remember to be happy, because I think….”

Tears well up your eyes, blurring your sight. “ _I think Saeyoung would love to see you happy, too_.”

Saeran pulls you into a hug.

“Saeran?”

“You’re right…” he whispers. “You’re right… Thank you for reminding me again and again, that I can allow myself to be happy.”

“You should make a wish and blow the candles,” you tell him. “I know we’ll find him. I believe in you. We’ll find him and then we’ll become happy together, as a family. Right, Saeran?”

He nods, his body trembling from crying.

When the tears finally stop, you bring the cake to him again. Smiling, Saeran closes his eyes shut and makes a wish. He never thought he would make a wish for his brother again, after everything that’s happened, so many years after that day.

_Brother… I hope you are healthy and safe wherever you are. I’ll do everything in my power to find you - anything else can come after that. Happy birthday… to both of us._

Opening his eyes, he blows the candles. Birthdays never meant anything to him - it was like receiving a small bread only to have it stolen right after, a happiness he never thought he deserved. But you remind him that birthdays are supposed to be happy…

_…that he can be happy._


End file.
